National Grammar Day

I am preparing for the NYS Keyboard Specialist civil service exam this Saturday. I've taken Typist I exams in the past and have done very well, so I approached my prep with a happy heart, knowing I could knock back some practice and land at the top of the scores.



Au contraire. Vocabulary -- outstanding. Sentence completion -- no problemo. Reading comprehension -- fantastic. Even the analogies that gave me fits for the Typist I test (alumnus is related to alumna as rooster is related to....) were a piece of cake -- I'd cracked the code. Then I tried word division.



One of the worst grades I ever received at any school was in fifth grade for word division. The homework consisted of 100 words to be divided properly. I missed over 50% and received the lowest grade in the class -- it was devastating. I was accustomed to getting the top grade, and it really stung. The other kids had all gotten 100% and the teacher was so pleased with them. That made me feel worse, because not only did I suck at word division, I was too stupid to cheat.



Well, I still suck at word division. But that pales in comparison with how much I suck at grammar. I thought I had a firm grasp on "who" and "whom" -- but I don't. One test asks questions in two parts. Part a is whether the sentence given is grammatically correct. Part b is whether the grammar rule given is correctly applied in the sentence: "present participle should be used," "nominative case should be used," "perfect infinitive should be used." I don't even remember this from my college English courses. Guess what? I don't know and I don't care!



One of the practice tests had 11 questions and I missed 9 of them. My consolation, however, is hoping that all of the other people taking the exam are all much younger and graduates of our Feel Good About Yourself schools. That, and texting, will kill their grammar and spelling and give GeezerWoman a better score in comparison. A little schadenfreude??

Today is National Grammar Day and time to pause and remember all of the valiant grammarians who have made our lives better by keeping our participles from dangling.