Craig's List

I heard Craig's List is a good job source, so I started checking it each morning. One of the first office jobs listed wanted a woman "who is not afraid to wear lingerie and scanty clothes. Spike heels a must." I called my cousin, Carol, who is 59 and a retired executive assistant, but has the body of a 20-something. "Oooh, Carol, this one is for you! Print it out and put it on the fridge so you can show Pete (spouse) you're serious about finding a job."

I did see a job I really wanted -- in my town, basic office/data entry duties, perfect hours. I recognised the listing company as a temp firm through which a friend had found employment. That's okay, as I worked as a temp once before, with good results. All I wanted was a shot at that job. The agency wanted me to come down THAT VERY DAY for an interview!

At the reception desk I was given a ream of paperwork to complete, including complete work history, okay to computer testing, okay to a background check, okay to pee in a bottle, references, and on and on. Apparently I was signing-up with the agency. By this time I had a bad feeling about the whole affair, but all I wanted was a shot at that job.

Paperwork completed, I sat for computer testing. I pretty much sucked at Word, but was confident of my data entry and keyboarding speed tests. Then I suffered through a presentation about the firm and how wonderful it was and how much, how very much, it cared for its employees. One segment spoke of correct ergonomics at work. Interesting, as the computer test I just took was about as ergonomically unfriendly as possible.

An hour later, I finally met with interviewer Cheryl. Cheryl said my Word abilities are average (you're kidding) and my data entry and keyboarding are "good." Gee, thanks. I tackled the age thing immediately -- can I get a job at my age? She replied that "you certainly don't look your age." Shove it. "There are 100 applicants for every job now, so anyone who isn't with an agency is at a disadvantage." Scare tactic. I could tell she was interested in temping me out, but not with the listed job. I realized I was in a bait-and-switch operation. I pressed her about the desired job, which would be perfect for the company and me. Cheryl said that particular firm requires any applicants score "correctly" on a personality test; she reluctantly agreed to email the test.

The Taylor Protocols consist of about 40 blocks of four words each. The subject selects which word from each block that most closely describes them, spending so longer than five seconds on each block. The whole test took less than three minutes and generated five pages of evaluation of my personality -- including graphs! I am a Banker/Innovator! (Does that mean I know how to cook the books?)

Cheryl emailed me that, so sorry, the company only interviews Banker/Builders. Feck me! My husband asked why they didn't want Banker/Candlestick Maker.

That was the last I heard from the temp agency. I now notice quite a lot of Craig's List jobs are from agencies, probably on fishing expeditions. I've been hooked once and that's enough.